blood

When I sat down to write today I had no intention on writing about blood but my little one taught me something really amazing today (that is what they are here for after all) and I would like to share.

So here is what happened…  My little one had a doctors appointment today.  I asked for some labs to be done and the doc told me “Of coarse!  Would you like to wait a few days so you have a chance to talk to her about it?”  I said nope she’s good!  A little excited actually, UNTIL, it was time to actually do it, then she got a little nervous so I explained exactly what would happen. (she has never ever been poked before)  I told her that that it would hurt a little, it would feel like a little pinch.  I told her that before they put the needle in we would take a deep breathe together.  I told her she would get to see her blood and it would be so cool!  The nurse came out and said in her most nervous voice, “Oh, has she had this done before?”   I said, “No, she can sit on my lap.”   She said, “Ok, we will go into this room over here.”  (not the regular blood drawing room)  She sent us to the room and we waited.  I told my little one that when they poked the needle in she would have to be very very still and not move at all.  She said, “Ok Mommy”  I kept telling her what they would do and what she needed to do.  When the nurses came in (I guess one to hold her down and one to take her blood?) The one taking her blood was talking to her telling her what she was doing and that it would be fast.  The other one was standing there, (although VERY nice) looking quite large to a 5 year old, with her hands on her hips watching and waiting.  The poking nurse found a perfect little vein.  I told Cora to look at my vein because she has a little mini vein that looks just like mine.  We laughed.  The nurse put the rubber band thing on explaining why.  I held her arm steady and said, “Ok lets take a deep breath” So we did, in and out.  The nurse put the needle in and my child DID NOT EVEN MOVE!!!!!  NOT ONE MUSCLE!!!!  As the blood filled the tube I told her, “Look!  Do you see your blood?”  At first she said no because she was expecting it to be coming out of her skin.  The nurse was holding the vile very low so my girl could not see it.  She was bending over trying to look at it so the nurse finally lifted it so we could see it.  It of coarse filled very fast and it was over in a flash.  I asked if Cora could hold it.  I told her, “That is your blood!  Isn’t it beautiful!  Feel it, it feels warm.”  She loved looking at it.  She said,  “That didn’t hurt at all!”  I was beaming with pride!  Of coarse I am proud of her but I am mostly proud of me.  I am so proud that I chose to handle this situation being fully honest and open.  So now instead of being afraid of being poked or afraid of seeing her blood, it’s not something bad, it’s not something good, it’s just something, something she will always (hopefully) see it as beautiful and ok.

This week my friend Sarah and I have been talking about how we often take other peoples energy and make it our own.  We take on others problems and fears, especially our kids and when we do this we are actually taking their lesson that they were sent here to learn, in turn depriving them of the experience being their own.   What I mean is, if I had not told my child what would happen and I had not told her to look at her own blood and to feel how warm it was, (out of my own fears) and see how pretty it was, if I had let the big scary nurse hold her down I would have taken all the beauty away and made it something ugly and scary.  (again, out of my own fears)

I don’t know about you but I absolutely take on my kids feelings and energy with big things and small things.  For a while now I have been trying my best to listen to my kids when they are telling me if someone at school is mean to them or making fun of them.  I bite my tongue and say, “Hmmm, I wonder about that.”  I tell them that they are allowed to tell the other person that they don’t like what the other person is doing.  Sometimes they just need to cry and be loved.  It seems such a simple act but it is hard not to be openly offended and hurt by how our children feel they are being treated.  I think it is important to realize that we all feel hurt by another at some point and we have all have our turn to hurt someone else.  So when your kid comes home feeling sad about how someone treated them remember to just hold them and listen and to do the same when you suspect they have been the one doing the hurting.  We are their parents, the ones they look to for comfort.  Understanding loves and kisses are the best we can give them.  So… to explain what I had given to me by my little one today?   I realize that my kids are strong!  That are made to handle their own lives in a brave and beautiful way. They just need me to guide them through life not fix it for them.  There is nothing to be fixed. My kids are not broken.  They are whole all on their own. I feel relieved……