what do I want to be when I grow up? for me this is a life long question. I am beginning to think that there is no solid defining answer to this question. none of us will ever know what we want to be when we grow up or when we actually become “what” because we are ever changing. if we are always looking ahead at what we will be, we miss who we are NOW and eventually die never knowing.
when I started my blog it was simply to show case my photography. I thought that sharing my photography was enough, enough to let people know who I am and what I have to offer. a few years ago (around the age of 32) I noticed myself changing in a VERY huge way. I told my husband that I am changing and I hoped he was ready to come with me because I couldn’t/can’t stop it from happening. this strange feeling kept/keeps creeping up from a place that was tucked very deep and far away. I am sure now that this feeling was/is ME. no matter how hard I had/have tried to push MYSELF, WHO I AM, AND WHO I ALWAYS HAVE BEEN down, this feeling, (which again, I think is simply ME trying to make my way into the world) keeps returning. I am just NOW (at a semi-firm not even close to ripe age of 34) coming to terms with the fact that the TRUE ME has never been introduced to the world. what a powerful realization. it is super amazing and super scary!
as you are reading this you may be thinking, OMG that is what is happening to me… or… what in the hell is she talking about… or… oh yeah! I remember that. apperently in life our changes come in 7 year phases and in each 7 year phase there are phases. just the other day a friend told me, “oh yeah! I remember that!” from her I learned this was something that happens to EVERYONE through out there lives (even if one chooses not to believe it). just take comfort in the fact that at least one person understands (ME). I have several friends who are my age and it seems in someway or another we are all experiencing the same thing with of coarse very different stories. the common thread being our phase in life, the phase of realizing that we have never known who we really are. acknowledging this reality and embracing with your entire being is the only way out. we have to push through all of the fears, the ones we have shoved down for so long, the fears of just going for it!
the purpose of my blog is still to share my photography but I also want to connect with people. not just through photography but through everyday thoughts, joys and fears. I will share mine and hope to see yours as well. I will share the ways I process, express and experience this wonderful and messy life of mine. I hope to give strength, courage and inspiration to all that visit me and receive the same from my visitors.
Love, Candace!
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